I’m pretty sure the elevator in our building has some kind of sinister designs on my life, soul, or perhaps both. When I arrive at or depart from our building, the elevator door opens as I pass by it in the front lobby or the upper landing, then slowly shuts, all by itself. I’d say it does it about 25 to 33% of the time.

I don’t use the elevator, since I only work on the second floor. I have no idea why it opens as I walk by. I thought it was odd, of course, but then it started following me. I’m dead serious. When it opens, about half the time the car follows me -up or downstairs, depending on where I’m going- and opens for me on the next floor. It’s really pretty creepy, especially in the early morning when nobody else is here.

Come to think of it, it only follows me when nobody else is around, though it does simply open sometimes, when I’m not alone. It’s definitely weird enough that I will never use that elevator, ever. Ever ever. It used to really creep me out, but then I realized that as long as I wasn’t foolish enough to fall for the bait and improvidently walk into that hydraulic steel tomb, it was powerless over me. Now I smirk and give it the finger, mocking its malign offer of easy transport. I’m convinced that the very moment the shiny doors of that vertically mobile casket close behind me, I’m a goner.

I guess it still freaks me out a bit.