I have never been a fan of the comic strip Wee Pals. This admission doubtless marks me as an insensitive slob (at best) or a jackbooted racist scumbag (at worst). I don’t care; I just can’t take it any more.

For those of you who have never had to suffer through a reading of this tiresome strip, Wee Pals is a strip whose noble goal is inter-ethnic harmony. Often, though, this is simply spun as "whitey is always wrong". The token WASP male, Ralph, is usually depicted as crass and ignorant bigot. Whitey just don’t get it; he’ll always be an asshole, even if racism has to be imagined where none exists, such as this farce that went out on Christmas where poor, stupid white Ralph suffers yet another browbeating:

Sorry, Wee Pals, but fuck you on this one. You’re messing with Bing, motherfucker. Nobody fucks around with Bing. Not on Christmas. Take your rainbow homies and celebrate Kwanzaa somewhere the fuck else, because Bing wasn’t singing about burning crosses and George Wallace. Call me stupid or cruel just for being white, and that’s fine; I get the whole "400 years of oppression makes a brother bitter" angle. Being white, I will probably never grok your perspective, so keep hitting me over the head with the injustice inherent in racism. That’s fine. I understand that Morrie Turner (the author of Wee Pals) lived through the racist years of the 1940s and 1950s, and saw the race riots of the 1960s, and that can’t leave a man’s Weltanschauung unaltered.

But trying to use Bing to lay a guilt trip on me? Fuck you.