oogle pays scant attention to this site. This, of course, is not really surprising, since this tiny little pile of digital scribbles is but an insignificant point of jetsam adrift in the vast, uncharted seas of intellectual pollution that comprise the blogosphere. In checking my hit logs this morning, though, I found that Google’s bots have crawled my site twice in the last week. The last time they’d hit it was months ago. I’m guessing it’s just a fluke, since it’s not like I’m getting Googlebombed or anything (here’s the proof).

So, anyway, great fun, Google bots are crawling my site; whatever. What really piqued my interest was that I got three unique hits from Apple- as in the mothership. A wave of paranoia suddenly washed over my ape’s brain. I mean, sure, I work for them, but tucked away in an independent software division about 146 miles away from the Sacred Core. I’d be willing to bet that more than 99% of the residents of the main campus have no idea our specialist software division even exists. I only know one person who works within the warrens of the Infinite Loop, and I’m pretty sure we never discussed this blog, ever. So what shadowy cabal is pinging me from Cupertino? I got even more paranoid.

"Shit", I thought, "did I post something I shouldn’t have? Does corporate HR have me in their baleful glare for inadvertently trashing the company somehow? Did I let slip that top Apple executives were, to their secret shame, forced to get Windows logos tattooed on their left buttocks in 1997?" (You didn’t hear that from me, by the way.) I spent a few minutes reading recently archived posts just to make sure I hadn’t said anything more stupid than usual, and spent the next few hours nervously prairie-dogging over the cubicle wall to see if I could spot somebody from HR heading my way with the dreaded Plain Manila Folder that is always a portent of termination.

The day came and went, though, and neither the HR staff nor a gang of logo-wearing toughs showed up to work me over and kick me out the door, so I figure I’m probably safe. Still, the whole episode gave me enough of an adrenaline kick to finish a bunch of stuff I’ve been meaning to finish for a week or so. I guess mental instability can produce positive results every once in a while.