The story of the Danish cartoons that blaspheme against Islam by depicting the prophet Muhammed is actually a few months old, but for some reason the situation took a little while to reach its current fever pitch . It’s sad how such a little thing as a set of cartoons, even blasphemous ones, can ignite such a furor, but since Islam is such a tinderbox these days, I suppose it’s not altogether surprising.

Yesterday, as news of riots, boycotts, and demonstrations throughout the Islamic world made its way into this infidel’s cubicle, I was momentarily heartened by the statement from Ayatollah al-Sistani, who basically called both sides out for being dickheads. Whenever there’s any kind of heated dispute, both parties are usually to blame, even if not in equal measure. Al-Sistani is a pretty evenly-keeled fellow; why the U.S. doesn’t try to work with him more, I don’t know (oh, wait, I do know?it’s because the White House is occupied by a particularly inflexible bunch of jerks). Unfortunately, such words of moderation and reason are always lost in the maelstrom of stupidity that we humans seem to enjoy whipping up so much.

Regardless of the relative level of culpability in this whole affair, I am getting less and less tolerant of the militant Islamists whose response to just about anything is to howl for blood and fire instead of exclusively pursuing more civilized measures. I am also increasingly irritated by the fact that while the radicals denounce the West as horibble crusading colonial powers, they conveniently ignore the fact that Islam is a vehicle for Arabic cultural imperialism. Furthermore, the actions of the Afghani poster-children the Taliban showed us a glimpse of the radical Wahhabi vision of earthly paradise: a cultural and intellectual wasteland decorated with the bones of dissenters. Multicultural tolerance is one thing, but it’s hard to be tolerant when a sizeable and vocal portion of Muhammed’s followers are convinced that the only workable solution to most problems is to lop off someone’s head.

Were the cartoons deliberately inflammatory? Yes, but is it anywhere near reasonable to demand death and destruction in retaliation? No. Fuck that. I refuse to join the ranks of the dhimmi. As my pathetic act of defiance against the bloodthirsty paynim hordes, after work on Friday I went out and bought a block of Havarti and a wedge of Fontina, both imported from the godless, evil dairies of Denmark. I’m eating it right now with some ham and a bottle of wine, for maximum un-Islamic value. Today, I am a Dane.