Yesterday as I was driving home, I was listening to the radio, and was treated to what was surely the most underwhelming advertising claim I’ve heard in a long time.

I don’t remember exactly what the commercial was for—something very macho; it featured a booming male voice and a monster truck rally-style echo effect. Car parts or boat accessories, maybe. Doesn’t matter. The whole point of the spot was to entice customers into the store by bragging about the supposedly astonishing breadth of their inventory. Suddenly, the announcer’s voice dropped a couple octaves as the reverb dial went all the way up to eleven for the delivery of the kickass tagline payload:

"If we don’t have it…. It’s not in stock."

Wow, um, impressive… or not.