Feb
21 		Don’t Drink the Water
Filed under (Random Mutations) by The Cubelodyte on February 21, 2007 @ 10:28 am

TVBesides consenting to marrying me, my wife engages in one other trashy pleasure: watching Wife Swap. I won’t elucidate further about this horrible little bit of pop fodder; I’ll assume that you, gentle reader, are already familiar with its premise.

Suffice it to say that the show is a constant procession of freaks, monomaniacs, and losers. Lowbrow stuff, this, disposable and forgettable, until I watched the most recent episode, which pitted a family of urban fops against a band of rural Luddites. The latter ate a home-raised, all-raw diet (including poultry and meat), shunned chemicals of any kind, and embraced bacterial growth and the concept of cross-contamination as part of God’s great natural design. Hippie living, basically, only without the hippies.

Even though I wouldn’t willingly live like that, I understand it, or at least I understood, until Mrs. Ludd explained why she placed the practice of drinking water on the same abhorrent level as the application of pesticides and industrial detergents: "Water is a solvent… It also dehydrates you."

What. The. Fuck.

Water is a nearly-universal (if weak) solvent, I’ll grant you that… but to claim that water has dehydrating properties is far beyond absurd, delving deep into the territory of the stupid. I heard that almost two days ago and I’m still flabbergasted that anybody could make such an astoundingly asinine statement.

 
  


Comments:
5 Comments posted on "Don’t Drink the Water"
The_Angry_Flower on February 21st, 2007 at 3:44 PM #

Saw it…and I admit I was drwan to it like a car accident. The first thing that came to my mind was what it must have been like in the production room when they paired those two applications. The second thing I was drawn to was the mental break downs of the Father and the son where at one point the father is curled up in a fetal position because of one meal of cooked food. As I saw the son all I could think was “Most likely to open fire in a crowd of people”


TikiJuggler on February 21st, 2007 at 8:41 PM #

The world is full of stupid people. But I suppose I shouldn’t get upset. It must be really frustrating being a stupid person. But most of them live in total ignorance of their mental shortcomings, leaving only the frustration of people around them who are inconvenienced by their dull IQs….. hmmm Yeah fuckit… Drop them in the middle of the ocean and see if any of them can make it to shore.


The Cubelodyte on February 21st, 2007 at 8:51 PM #

There used to be plagues and real wars that would help thin the herd of the really stupid ones. Now we have advanced medicine and small “police actions” fought by highly-trained soldiers. That leaves all the mouth-breathers at home to breed, vote, and (now) serve as cheap entertainment. That’s the cynical take I have on it sometimes, anyway.


The_Angry_Flower on February 22nd, 2007 at 9:44 AM #

Knuckle Draggin, Slack Jawed, Mouth breathing , slope foreheaded, cousin marrying, knock kneed, inbred locals
will always be a great source of entertaining fodder, unless of course they have you pinned up against a tree somewhere in the forest telling you to squeal like a piggie


Cube_Goob on February 22nd, 2007 at 2:13 PM #

I think you’ve been living in the hills too long, AF.


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