The other day it was brought to my attention that a user had reported an abrupt loss of Internet connectivity, so I called the unlucky fellow at his cell number. After some initial confusion I was able to figure out he was at home, trying unsucessfully to dial in to the campus modem pool.

Usually when such connection attempts fail, the user’s OS will display some kind of prominent error dialog, but he insisted nothing like that occurred. “Although”, he mentioned, “I do hear a high-pitched tone, maybe that’s an error message?” No, I assured him, that was likely just the carrier signal from the modem pool. Stumped, I was pondering my next move, when he abruptly asked “does my computer have to be on when I do this?”

If I hadn’t heard it with my own ears I wouldn’t have believed it. He was dialing the modem pool on his land line himself, not through his computer. Considering that acoustic couplers haven’t been made for about twenty years (I haven’t even seen one in person for fifteen years), what was he expecting? To talk to the Internet on his voice line? Helloooo? Is that you, Google?

Hellooooooo?