I was looking over my hit logs and found a number of hits from the IP address 255.255.255.255. “Ha!” I said. “Obviously a spoofed address.” Either that, or the hitcounter couldn’t properly resolve the address of a host visiting from behind a proxy. But then I started to wax metaphysical about it. It’s literally the ultimate IP address. The ne plus ultra of the digital world: no higher-valued network address exists*. At the very end of the total range of all possible addresses, it is also the ultimate broadcast address.**

What could this mean? I puzzled for a moment longer, then realized: oh, shit. God visited my blog. I’m screwed now, just like the idiots who flunk job interviews because their MySpace page is full of posts about how much weed they smoked over the weekend. St. Peter is going to to search the Great Blog and say, “well, there’s just this little problem with your post of March 23rd, 2011…”

* God obviously doesn’t use IPv6 yet. You got a problem with that?
** Yes, I know that 255.255.255.255 is really a limited broadcast address for all nodes on a LAN. I’m waxing metaphysical, remember? I’m not interested in reality at the moment.