After a recent stint wearing the togs of one of the lesser-played classes, I just wanted to throw a couple little tidbits of wisdom out there for the general TF2-playing public. You know, a few little “pro tips” that might add up to that little extra edge, something to sharpen your game.

Medics are some of the hardest-working members of your team. But it’s a two-way street. You gotta give a little to get something back. To wit:

• When you call for help from your friendly team Medic, stand fucking still for just a second, could you please? Especially if you’re jumping around in a roomful of other idiots. The “health hose” doesn’t automagically lock onto your sorry carcass just because you’re mashing the “call for medic” key.
• Don’t run and cower behind your Medic when an enemy Heavy or Pyro rounds the corner, then whine and bitch that you “could have taken him if the Medic had used his übercharge” after the Medic, thanks to your brilliant display of cowardice, turns into a collection of bloody chunks. You’re in front for a reason, dumbass.
• Don’t instantly become a petulant little twat and complain that your Medic “can’t keep up” or “should have stayed around” if the healing suddenly stops. There’s a good possibility your Medic got backstabbed, torched, or gunned down, and you were too dense to notice. Guess who’s next in line to be fragged, shithead? Look over your fucking shoulder every once in a while. Protect your Medic, and he’ll protect you.
• For fuck’s sake, don’t charge into that four-sentry crossfire unless you can see the übercharge is already at 100%. And when you stupidly do it anyway, ignoring the Medic’s pleas to wait, don’t start screeching about how much your Medic sucks. There’s only so much a Medic can do. Down to half your hit points? Gotcha covered. Are you a halfwit? Can’t help with that.

Bitte sehr.