Today I was tasked with poking around various SMTP servers to see how they reacted to DSN requests (don’t ask why, because I can’t tell you, and the absurdity of the whole backstory is driving me nuts right now anyway).

Anyway, I noticed that alone of the free mail providers I fiddled with, only Microsoft threw out some warning text upon establishing the connection. I didn’t pay any initial attention to it, but when I did finally read it out of boredom while waiting for a command to be processed, I noticed it said:

cubelodyte$ telnet mx1.hotmail.com 25
Trying 65.54.244.8...
Connected to mx1.hotmail.com.
Escape character is '^]'.
220 bay0-mc1-f21.bay0.hotmail.com Sending unsolicited commercial or bulk e-mail to Microsoft's computer network is prohibited. Other restrictions are found at http://privacy.msn.com/Anti-spam/. Violations will result in use of equipment located in California and other states. Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:42:23 -0700

So quake in fear, spammers! If you send your crap through Hotmail they’ll.. um… do, uh, something in California, and maybe elsewhere. You have been warned.

So Microsoft has hired Jerry Seinfeld as their pitchman. Some are surprised, but if you think about it, it follows the standard Microsoft business model: take something that was once cool and groundbreaking, but now past its prime, and use it to generate cash from folks who still think it’s relevant.

You may have already heard about Kate Beaton and her hilarious webcomics, but if you haven’t, you should visit her sites right now and read everything she has published.

There are already some good comics out there, but anyone who can take such widely disparate and generally non-humorous figures and events like Tadeusz Kosciuszko, George Orwell, and the Battle of Culloden, then turn around and give the same treatment (with a tasteful dose of poignancy) to her own family has my rapt attention, if not slavelike devotion.

Not yet convinced she’s clickworthy? O ye, of little faith! Here are a few samples:

Still not convinced? Philistine.

While watching the Olympics this weekend I was subjected to an ad warning that an Obama Presidency would bring higher unemployment. “Higher taxes, more government spending, so, fewer jobs”, according to the voiceover.

While I understand the logic about higher taxes resulting in fewer jobs (i.e., those poor rich folks are ruthlessly prevented from selflessly creating minimum-wage jobs if they are forced to pay luxury taxes on their yachts), I don’t understand why more government spending would result in fewer jobs; increases in federal spending parlay into more jobs in both the public and private sectors. I mean, seriously, where do you think that money goes if not to salaries and contracts? There’s only so much surplus cheese lying around, after all.

Still, looking at the bigger picture, we can clearly see that all these latter-day, New Deal-hatin’ conservatives are clearly the only ones who can save us from runaway government spendi—

Or, you know, not.

Having just finished watching the stunningly-orchestrated opening ceremonies of the Beijing games, I don’t envy the poor son of a bitch in charge of planning London’s ceremonies in 2012. If I were him I’d be eating my gun right about now. The Chinese have just set the bar to new heights. Good show, China.

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty tired of Beijing’s prediliction for throwing little hissy fits whenever anybody calls them out on their bullshit. President Bush recently voiced a respectfully muted opposition to the Communist government’s authoritarian practices, and what was the Communist response to the President’s politely-worded disapproval? “How dare you meddle in our internal affairs, foreign devils.”

What a crock of shit.

Guess what, jerks: you want to be a world power and roll with the big boys? You gotta be able to take criticism now and then without crying like a little girl about how everybody is all up in your face. This is not an incitement of counterrevolution in China, it’s our frank statement of opinion. We have aired a point of philosophical contention like grown-ups are supposed to. This sort of insecurity does not bode well for regional or global security, to say nothing of the overall well-being of your people. In short: Hey China, grow a fucking pair, will you? Thanks.