Last night I was the uke for a black belt and a green belt going up for promotion. I actually enjoy playing the role of the hapless attacker, and did so with relish, along with much yelling and feigned anguish.

This morning, however the anguish is more than feigned. My back, shoulder, and head all ache from the generously-applied, brutal clubbings I received, and the fact that my sinuses are acting up this morning isn’t helping. I got worked over with clubs by two skilled martial artists and I’m feeling it.

The most irritating thing about the whole ordeal is that despite the prodigious amount of blunt force trauma I was dealt last night, what hurts the most is a little scrape on my elbow that I got as I was dragged over the floor. Why is it that the least consequential injury stings like a sonofabitch?