Maybe it’s just me, or maybe people care less about festive days in general, but it seems like people used to make a much bigger deal out of St. Patrick’s day than they do now. Maybe they still do, and I’m basing my opinion on hazy grade-school-era memories of everybody attending classroom shindigs wearing construction-paper shamrocks, guzzling punch, and mercilessly pinching the poor bastard whose mother forgot to dress him in green that day.

I don’t know why this is occupying so much of my tiny brain. It’s not like I’m even partially Irish; I guess I’m just being randomly quasi-melancholic for no reason at all.